america: outset

Am I on my way? Is this a mid-life crisis; I’m only 34, and do hope I last longer than that..

12 hours of travel my first day, I am just happy to be out of Florida and the humidity of it.

Thinking about leaving for so many months - the feeling of being on the road is different than I imagined.

I feel unprepared.. excited, though questioning my own motives. Am I searching for something to share with others, or for an experience to hold for myself? I do not yet know.

“Positive mindset” I tell myself while driving by a late 2000s SUV adorned with confederate flag dice hanging from the mirror and flanked by two large white women.

What am I getting myself into, does this “American story” I am searching for even exist? Am I an idealist?

Do we have something worth saving, as I believe we do?

Devil-on-shoulder: Perhaps we all are self-involved, and the American individualism I imagine is but selfish and reckless abandon.

The United States is broad, and capturing it in some cohesive, let alone positive way is ambitious or some may even say foolish.

But nonetheless, I will try.